Sunday, May 08, 2005
Communiqué #11
Comrades! Many of you are aware that informal contacts between our Central Committee and the organisers of the Gerbil Jihad Group have been ongoing over the past month. The discussion was started with the hope that a useful operational alliance could be forged, based on our common recognition of the threat posed by kittens.
Unfortunately, due to the haphazard and undemocratic structure of the GJG, talks were unnecessarily protracted, but despite this we persevered for the greater good of our cause.
These discussions have been terminated, without acrimony, but without any workable agreement. The frankly dense members of the GJG's self-styled Provisional Council were unable to see the importance of the abolition of desserts - several of them even professing a liking for these abominable foodstuffs - and their views on ants, postmen, and bath salts were also ideologically flawed. Their obsession with the free provision of cardboard tubes seemed to us to be an unnecessary and foolish distraction from the goal of global revolution.
We wish them well in their impotent cyberspace fulminating, but reluctantly recognise that they can play no part in our imminent triumph. The glory of liberating humanity from the sugary, puppy-loving history of recent centuries will be ours alone! Forwards!
Unfortunately, due to the haphazard and undemocratic structure of the GJG, talks were unnecessarily protracted, but despite this we persevered for the greater good of our cause.
These discussions have been terminated, without acrimony, but without any workable agreement. The frankly dense members of the GJG's self-styled Provisional Council were unable to see the importance of the abolition of desserts - several of them even professing a liking for these abominable foodstuffs - and their views on ants, postmen, and bath salts were also ideologically flawed. Their obsession with the free provision of cardboard tubes seemed to us to be an unnecessary and foolish distraction from the goal of global revolution.
We wish them well in their impotent cyberspace fulminating, but reluctantly recognise that they can play no part in our imminent triumph. The glory of liberating humanity from the sugary, puppy-loving history of recent centuries will be ours alone! Forwards!
